Who is Gráinne Hayes? The Untold Story Behind Nigel Farage’s First Marriage

Gráinne Hayes became famous when she married British politician Nigel Farage in 1988. Many people know Farage as the head of the UK Independence Party (UKIP) from 2006 to 2009 and again from 2010 to 2016. However, not many people know much about his personal life, especially his first marriage.

As we explore the story of Gráinne Hayes, we’ll uncover how this Irish nurse built a life with one of Britain’s most controversial political figures. Together, they had two children—Samuel born in 1989 and Thomas in 1991—and maintained a balance between private family responsibilities and Farage’s growing public ambitions. Despite their nine-year marriage ending in divorce in 1997, Hayes remained a stabilizing presence in their children’s lives. In this article, we’ll examine the complete timeline of their relationship, from their initial meeting through their separation and beyond.

How Gráinne Hayes Met Nigel Farage

The fateful meeting between Nigel Farage and Gráinne Hayes occurred through extraordinary circumstances in November 1985. Farage, then in his early twenties and working at the London Metal Exchange before joining brokerage firm Drexel Burnham Lambert, experienced what would be the first of several brushes with death.

After a night out at a pub in Orpington, Kent, Farage was struck by a Volkswagen Beetle. The collision resulted in severe injuries when he hit his head on the curb. Initially, the situation appeared dire as doctors feared he might lose his leg.

Hospitalized for approximately two months, Farage was placed on traction—a series of pulleys and weights designed to save his damaged leg. This critical medical intervention ultimately prevented amputation, though it ended his golfing pursuits.

It was during this challenging recovery period that Gráinne Hayes, an Irish nurse, entered Farage’s life. She was assigned to care for him throughout his treatment and subsequent rehabilitation. Following his discharge from the hospital, Farage continued recovery with his leg in a cast for nearly a year—approximately 11 to 12 months.

Reflecting on this life-altering experience in a 2015 interview with The Telegraph, Farage acknowledged both the difficulty and the unexpected blessing: “My recovery was a miserable period… but the treatment saved my leg. It paid for any more golf—but I married the nurse who treated me. I know it’s a cliche, but I got my life back and now I have a wife and two great kids.

This chance encounter through tragedy gradually blossomed into romance. Following his recovery, the relationship between Farage and Hayes developed naturally, eventually leading to their wedding in 1988 [64] [74]. The union between the Irish nurse and the future political figure would last nine years [64] and produce two sons before their paths ultimately diverged.

Marriage, Family, and the Years Together

After their 1988 wedding, Gráinne Hayes and Nigel Farage began building their life together as he transitioned from his early career in the commodities market into the world of politics. Their marriage was founded on mutual respect and support, which became increasingly important as Farage’s political ambitions took shape.

The couple welcomed their first son, Samuel, in 1989, subsequently followed by their second son, Thomas, in 1991. Throughout their nine-year union, Hayes played a supportive role as Farage pursued his career aspirations. In his 2011 memoir “Flying Free,” Farage reflected on their early married life: “We were happy. But then we were both working full time, and I was on a roll [in finance], so happiness was easy”.

As a result of his growing political involvement, Farage later acknowledged that their family life experienced strain. “Politics had begun to impinge and that did not help. Of that there is no question at all,” he admitted. Furthermore, he confessed: “I had been married once before and it didn’t end very well but, then, that’s life, isn’t it? We have our ups and downs in life”.

Over time, the marriage deteriorated, with Farage later describing it as having “expired” after having “been on ice and torpid with its claws bound for so long that we had both forgotten it was alive at all”. Consequently, the couple divorced in 1997.

Nevertheless, Hayes remained a consistent and stabilizing force in their children’s lives following the separation. She ensured they were raised with values of discretion, respect, and personal responsibility. Today, both sons are adults with established careers—Samuel graduated from Exeter University and became an accountant at KPMG, while Thomas followed a path into city trading.

In retrospect, Farage has expressed regret about the impact his career had on family life, stating: “I have spent far too little time with my children and family”.

The Divorce and Life After Separation

The marriage between Gráinne Hayes and Nigel Farage officially ended in 1997 after nine years together. Unlike many high-profile divorces, their separation occurred with relatively little public drama or media attention. Indeed, no public records indicate any major disputes or specific reasons for their split. However, some reports suggest Farage’s growing political ambitions with the UK Independence Party might have strained their relationship.

Following the divorce, Hayes made a deliberate choice that would define her subsequent years—she retreated entirely from public life. Unlike many former spouses of prominent politicians who leverage their connections for media attention, Hayes has never given interviews, written articles, or made public appearances discussing her marriage to Farage. This remarkable commitment to privacy has been so complete that there’s no publicly available information regarding whether she remarried, her professional career path, or even her current location[152].

Meanwhile, Farage quickly rebuilt his personal life, marrying German-born Kirsten Mehr in 1999, just two years after his divorce from Hayes. This second marriage produced two daughters—Victoria (born 2000) and Isabelle (born 2005). However, history would repeat itself as Farage’s political career continued to impact his family relationships.

In February 2017, Kirsten Mehr publicly confirmed that she and Farage had been “living separate lives for some years”. The next day, Farage addressed these personal difficulties on his LBC show, stating: “All of us in our lives go through ups and downs and I regret the down that I’m in at the moment”[154].

Throughout these turbulent years, Hayes maintained her steadfast privacy. Unlike Farage’s second wife, who occasionally commented on their relationship, Hayes has remained absent from social media and public discourse. Her consistent choice to stay out of the spotlight suggests a person who values personal boundaries above potential notoriety.

In retrospect, Farage has acknowledged the toll his political career took on family life. “I’ve just been pretty obsessed fighting this cause to the detriment of almost everything else,” he admitted, adding poignantly that his children “could have had a bit more of me”.

Conclusion

Throughout the years, Gráinne Hayes has remained an enigmatic figure in British political history. Despite her connection to one of the UK’s most controversial politicians, she chose a path remarkably different from what many might expect. Unlike Farage’s second wife who occasionally stepped into the public eye, Hayes deliberately maintained complete privacy after their 1997 divorce.

This stark contrast between Hayes and others in similar positions speaks volumes about her character. While many ex-spouses of public figures leverage such connections for personal gain or publicity, Hayes seemingly valued discretion above all else. Her steadfast commitment to staying out of the spotlight reflects a person who prioritizes personal boundaries over potential notoriety.

The relationship between Hayes and Farage began under unusual circumstances – she as his nurse, he as a patient facing potential amputation. Though their marriage lasted nine years and produced two sons who went on to successful careers, Farage’s political ambitions ultimately contributed to their separation. As he himself acknowledged, his obsession with political causes came “to the detriment of almost everything else.”

Perhaps the most telling aspect of Hayes’ story lies not in what we know, but rather what remains unknown. Her current whereabouts, professional endeavors, and whether she remarried all remain private matters – exactly as she appears to prefer. This remarkable absence from public discourse stands as testament to someone who understood the value of privacy in an increasingly exposed world.

Farage’s subsequent relationships followed similar patterns of strain under political pressure, yet Hayes never publicly commented on these developments. The sons they raised together – Samuel and Thomas – represent the lasting legacy of their union, both pursuing professional careers away from their father’s political spotlight.

Undoubtedly, Hayes’ story serves as a counterpoint to our culture’s fascination with celebrity and political figures. Her choice to step back completely demonstrates that not everyone seeks validation through public recognition. After all, sometimes the most compelling stories belong to those who actively choose not to tell them.